Reflecting on God's Goodness

These 9 months have flown by (however the past three weeks, slow!). Looking back and seeing what God has done for Anna and and what he has done in us has been amazing! Over the past 9 months he has taught us to trust in Him alone. I think back to when I was 11 weeks a doctor (not ours!!) told us that he was 95% sure that I had miscarried her. We hadn't even had an ultrasound yet to confirm that, but some how I had a peace that God was in control and he was going to take care of us. Truthfully, I didn't even want to go back the next day and have the ultrasound, but we did go anyway of course. I can't even describe the feelings I had when I saw a living, kicking baby and her little heart beating like crazy on the screen. God is good! Of course, He still would have been good even if she had of died, but we rejoice that He has the final authority and knows more than any doctor. After that we anticipated another healthy pregnancy like we had with Livy (a couple of scares with her in the beginning too, but after that she was great!!). Of course we can't see down the road and God was going to ask us to trust Him again.

When we found out at 19 weeks that we were going to have another baby girl we were thrilled. Of course, John was praying for a son, but he was happy with whatever God decided to give us. After I had my ultrasound we went in to see our doctor and he said that the baby had fluid in the chest cavity. He thought it was caused by a hole in her diaphragm, possibly a hernia. When they he said we will have to refer you to the Angels program at UAMS I was flipping out on the inside (really!). It was a horrible feeling to not be able to physically see and fix it myself. After a few months of tests and ultrasounds she still had the fluid and they had no explaination of why it was even there. Through that whole process God was teaching us to trust Him as we did before when we thought she was gone. He was telling me that he can see and take care of her better than any doctor because HE made her. My OB doc told me that sometimes these things will clear up on there own. He has seen children come in with very serious health problems and then they clear up on there own. By the way..praise God that our doc. is a Christian and told me that God is the one who heals those children and the funny part is that the docs in Little Rock are totally amazed and stunned when children's health problems are healed unexplained. Hello! That the kind of amazing real God was have!!! After trips to Little Rock, more doctors, ultrasounds, and blood tests; we resolved to trust Him again and believe that he was going to take care of this. That's what happened with our Anna. In October, on John's birthday no less, I had another ultrasound here in town and they said her fluid was gone. "They say" apparently I had a virus and so she had the virus and that's what caused the fluid around her heart. Well, I believe God healed her. They didn't even know what was wrong anyway. I think I trust God on this one! Trust is still a factor today. During my 36 week ultrasound he saw just a little fluid still there. We don't know why it has come back, but we know that we are to trust him again. I have no problem with that. I'm trusting that she will be fine.

Right now, I'm trying to fathom that we are going to have her either this week or next Monday. John and I go in Tuesday to pick a date for sure. I'm also trying to fathom having two girls. One almost three and a newborn. Seems like just yesterday we had Olivia. My how time does fly. I have said it before "when life gives you lemons, God is still good." Reflecting as been sweet! I can't wait to hold our Anna Marie. Thank you Jesus for being so faithful!